MJ is my name.
Stalking is my game.
20 years of age.
CPA.
Ravenclaw.
Tribute.
Demi-God.
Sinner.
Dreamer.
Self-Proclaimed Blogger.
Aspiring Libero.
Book-a-holic.
This is my online realm of experiences, thoughts, rants and laments.
Hindi ko na alam kung hanggang kailan ako maghihintay sa isang bagay na parang sa tingin ko, malabo na naman. Nauubusan na ako ng oras (at pasensya) sa puntong ito.
Life on earth is transient. Thinking too much about what’s ahead is a schizo’s best way to live and the worst path for a sane man to waste his life. Too many lessons learned. Too little time to act it out. But in case we cross each other’s paths again, say “Hi” to me and let’s try to catch up. I will always love you. For now, I won’t say goodbye but goodnight so it’s not over.
I easily forget things: from four-digit pin codes to eight-letter passwords. But now, the sad lines and bittersweet memories I’ve been trying real, damn hard to forget are the ones that would keep me awake in bed, staring blankly on the ceiling, asking myself what went wrong, what I failed to say, what I failed to do.
It seems like we have really outgrown each other. When you got a love life, I was happy for you. We barely see each other anymore. I still drink coffee during Sundays, but you’re not there anymore. I still have the same problems, but you’re not there to listen to me anymore. And now we have this gap between us which grew bigger and bigger despite us constantly trying to reach out to each other. I guess, until the two of you break up—which I doubt will ever happen—things won’t go back to how they used to be.
You are the latest of a long list of people who disappointed me. But you know, shit happens and life’s like that.
Mag-ggym na ko. Promise!
Attraction is always the first, right? So there, I was attracted. I made moves. I asked help. I decided to get close. You responded. I liked you more. You said you prefer not to commit to anything. Fine by me. Friends. But I am secretly hoping. I know you know that I am still hoping.
I learned that hurrying love is one stupid mistake and not an easy way as a stepping stone to finding that better kind of love. Just the right balance between patience and assertion.
But please, just don’t let me hanging. You’re really confusing me. Sometimes you made me feel that you feel the same way too. Sometimes not. And there was a time you even said it, but sometimes you took me for granted. Like now.
Still stalking…
